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Showing posts from 2022

Not where I want to be, but definitely not where I used to be

Life in a nutshell has been a bit turbulent over the past few months. Physically, mentally & emotionally. For the most part of it, dealing with things that were far beyond my control & trying to keep my sanity in check has been more than a task. To deal with the curveballs that were thrown at you every single day was draining & nerve wrecking. Living in a third world country where the inflation spiked up to over 60% in a span of a few months while we still haven’t recovered from a global pandemic is not at all easy. Everyday we wake up with a new problem. At one point my life was all about figuring out how to get to a place & then back home. Something as simple as a short distance cab ride was not just a luxury, it was damn near impossible. The constant worry about what the future holds was spiking everyone’s anxiety.   Everything was being affected. Our entire lifestyle. But like every other thing we go through, the only way out was through. This period was a whole...

Effort Is Based On Feelings, Not A Label.

A few months ago I wrote why the modern couple has such a hard time committing. But the real question is, why is commitment so important?! Most people these days chase after commitment like their life depends on it. But in reality, what they’re really after is A Label. To be called someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife etc. It’s just a title that gives you a mere sense of entitlement. It’s basically saying you owe me.   What many fail to understand is that a label does not define the status of your relationship or the depth of the connection you share with someone. People often think that once you make this commitment you are bound to do certain things for the other when really it should not be that way at all. As a matter of fact, things you do out of obligation is not even worth it if its not done with love.   You shouldn’t prioritise someone else just because they are your significant other and you think it’s the right thing to do. If they’re someone you truly ...

The version of me you created in your head is not my responsibility

  In my thirty years of existence the amount of times I’ve battled the feeling of “never being good enough” is countless and honestly, quite sad if you ask me. As I’ve said before, I was raised in a household where openness and conservativeness were parallel. There are things that were ok to do and things that weren’t. It’s surprising that actually how some of the basic things were taboo and some things Asian parents considered taboo, I was allowed to do. Not gonna go into detail but I guess what I’m trying to say is, maybe growing up I was kinda lost in translation. I was constantly told to consider the society as part of my lifestyle before making major life decisions because somehow, for some reason their perceptions mattered. I was taught to be very cautious about my appearance because well, looks matter. I wasn’t allowed to leave my house without a pair of earrings, I wouldn’t be caught dead in flip-flops, never worn unfitting or non-matching clothes even in my teens, ha...

The Mayhem of A Hookup Culture

A topic that circles back and forth these days. It’s safe to say that we have deviated further from the norm that used to be monogamy, chivalry & commitment. In a society where men & women are so easily and readily available for casual sex, it’s almost impossible to find the “Real Deal”.   Most importantly, why commit right?! As the saying goes, if you get the milk for free, why buy the cow?! Before we go any further with this post, this is not me saying withhold having sex. In fact, it’s the complete opposite but in this day and age know what to expect (or rather what not to expect) so you save yourself and others from the troubles and destruction. We’ve already established that we’re a broken generation and we often try and mend that brokenness by either drinking, partying or hooking up with multiple people. (Although it is far from the solution, it’s the truth) For whatever reason, be it family issues, past relationship trauma, attachment issues, abandonment issues, ...

Breaking The Cycle

  I had a very loving upbringing as a child. A mother who loved me and a father who spoilt me. So much so that I grew up to believe that the world was just as loving. Just as giving. And that I would always get my way. My mom was by nature kind, caring, generous and maybe even naïve if I may add. But now as an adult I realize that this was not helpful at all. I think it’s safe to say that the worst advise I’ve received to date was in fact from my mom. She used to say like a prayer that “Love was only to give & not expect anything in return.” This is the only way she knew to love but I now know that this statement is wrong on so many levels. I was raised to be a giver, an empath, a healer & a provider. No matter how I was treated in return. This indeed is obviously what I have applied to all my past relationships. I was repeating the same toxic cycle. Then one day it dawned on me that the people I attract were the reflection of my own behavior. So I decided to break the ...