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Not where I want to be, but definitely not where I used to be

Life in a nutshell has been a bit turbulent over the past few months. Physically, mentally & emotionally. For the most part of it, dealing with things that were far beyond my control & trying to keep my sanity in check has been more than a task. To deal with the curveballs that were thrown at you every single day was draining & nerve wrecking.


Living in a third world country where the inflation spiked up to over 60% in a span of a few months while we still haven’t recovered from a global pandemic is not at all easy. Everyday we wake up with a new problem. At one point my life was all about figuring out how to get to a place & then back home. Something as simple as a short distance cab ride was not just a luxury, it was damn near impossible. The constant worry about what the future holds was spiking everyone’s anxiety. 


Everything was being affected. Our entire lifestyle. But like every other thing we go through, the only way out was through. This period was a whole new example for how uncertain everything can be. Your life could take a 180 turn to the worst in just less than 24 hours. Needless to say I was struggling more mentally than physically to keep up. But here’s my realization. Your life could also take a 180 turn to the better in just less than 24 hours. 


Tony Robbins once said, “Identify your problems but give your power & energy to solutions.” Whatever we put our focus into, multiplies. It’s the simple law of the universe. What you give power to, has power over you. So I made a choice to focus on the good even though it felt like absolutely nothing good was happening at the time. This is where practicing gratitude for the everyday little things plays a much larger part than you may realize. I was grateful to wake up every morning in a comfortable bed and have a roof over my head. I was grateful to have food on the table and my health in check. I was grateful to have family & friends who would check up on me and offer to help. I was grateful to have a stable income at a time people were globally losing their jobs. I was grateful for the freedom I had to make my own choices. And above this all, I was proud that I could give this all to myself. I started to think that no matter how low we’ve fallen, it only means there’s greater heights to reach. 


In this day & age where we’re accustomed to think nothing we ever have or do is enough, especially with the influence of social media where people have this illusion that everyone else has  it better, I found satisfaction in everything I had going on for myself in the moment. 


Five years ago if you asked me what my life would look like in my thirties, I would’ve had a different picture painted all together. But the thing is, life never goes as planned and sometimes it truly is for the best. A quote I had read many moons ago by the great Dalai Lama that truly changed my life was “Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” Every time my life takes a different direction than my original plan, I remember this. I believe you should have some fundamental goals that needs achieving in terms of your life, career & finances. Things that give you purpose & a proud sense of achievement that adds to your internal satisfaction. But many people run after goals that are secondary, to keep up with the society. That’s why we’re surrounded by exhausted, broken souls who always feel like whatever they do is never enough. Constantly comparing, competing & complaining. 


In the recent past, amidst all this chaos, I had a revelation about myself. I knew that maybe as a twenty something year old I would’ve wanted more for myself by the time I was 30. But I also felt truly satisfied by everything I have achieved at 30. I know that with every goal I’ve set for myself that I am far from where I want to be. But I can be genuinely happy that I’m farther from where I used to be. And despite all sizes of curveballs life’s thrown my way for very many years, for the first time in a long time I truly believe that I am living my best life. It can only get better from this point on. 

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