Modern Dating

In this rapidly changing busy lives of ours’, consistency is key. With the many things we strive to achieve on a daily basis, sparing time to invest in a relationship can be nerve wrecking at times.

This is probably why monogamy is considered rare & precious in the 21^st century, although it was a common factor back in the day.

Men used to really go after what they want & women used to commit once they had found a suitable match. Going on date used to mean picking her up from home, perhaps surprising her with a bunch of flowers & then walking her up to her door at the end of the date. Asking someone out on a date has been replaced from “I’d like to take you out to dinner sometime” to “Let’s grab a drink when you’re free”. What used to be the norm back then is now referred as #RelationshipGoals. Why? Because it almost never happens anymore.

Women used to set the bar high & men had to really work to match those standards. Everyone was a #PowerCouple back in the day & up to date.

With the very many options we have now, this is not quite easy. We’ve gotten too comfortable with that phrase “there are plenty of fish in the sea.” We fall in and out of love easy. We don’t fight for love, we don’t stand up for what matters & we give up on the people we care for too damn fast with the vital hope that something better will always come along.

A date has narrowed down to “Netflix & chill”. A dinner simply means take out or ordering in. Showing affection is nothing but sex. No walking anyone home, no goodnight kisses at the door step, no holding hands & going to the movies, no planning second dates. A first date in the modern world usually ends on the first date itself. It’s ironical because we live in a world where technology is more advance than ever & the options to get in touch with one single person is countless. Yet, we choose the easiest way, which is to ghost out on them. Men or women cannot quite gather the words to say why they’re not into the other person anymore because ignoring is an easy way out. People have become more replaceable than things. Dairy products last longer than relationships these days.

It has come to a time where dating is all about fulfilling one’s physical needs with no emotional attachment whatsoever. We don’t even seem to let these bother us anymore cuz we’ve gotten so used to bouncing back to normal when things don’t work out. Dating has been redefined to hook-ups or one night stands & there are too many first dates. The excitement to go on a date is non-existent. It has more or less become a routine. The butterflies you get with that first kiss are dead. A date rarely ends up in a relationship & a relationship rarely lasts over a couple of months.

A good morning / good night text, a personal snap selfie or a sext is considered to be romance. A date used to be something pre-planned with a lot of effort put into it but now it’s nothing but a last minute phone call for a spontaneous “hang out”. It’s something we do outta boredom or when the rest of our plans fail or when it’s convenient. There is no spark, no romance or no interest. Dating has become part of our leisurely pastimes. Something for when we don’t want to be alone but we don’t want to invest in either.

I’m not quite sure if it’s the generation gap or just the era in general. What I do know is, in time to come this practice is only going to get worse. In a couple of years, a good morning text would be considered #RelationshipGoals & I can’t even begin to think what will replace the “lets chill”. All we ever do is make up excuses as to why things are not working out instead of seeking opportunity to make them work out.